If you are familiar with the topic of international students in American colleges, you would know that there is a stereotype of us wearing Canada Goose’s jackets, Supreme sweatshirts or Gucci shoes to class or being excessive about flaunting wealth and status in general.
On Facebook, where the students’ community convene to create and share memes about university life, many memes are created to mock well off international students, which I unfortunately (or fortunately) could not relate. Unlike the stereotypes, I and most of my international student friends don’t possess such wealth. To the contrary, we study and work hard while trying to save money as much as we could. Coming from a third world country where costs of living are much lower, prices in America are exorbitant for us. Comparing a bowl of Pho noodle soup, which is around 30,000 Dong in Viet Nam(1.5 USD) is at least $10 in America.
Certainly there are hardships, but the experience is so unique and humbling. I found five main reasons why I appreciate being an international student in the U.S. — how it has given me the chance to grow into a more mature and thoughtful person.
1. I learn to adapt
In my opinion, being an international student is the hardest in that you have to pack your entire life and move to a new country. Your routine and habits are suddenly uprooted — usually the further you move away from home, the more distinct the new environment is going to be. Considering my personal experience, from Viet Nam to the U.S. everything, and I mean everything changed.
Socially: From a relatively uniform and homogenous community to a individualistic and diverse society. Americans are gregarious and enjoy chatting with strangers, which I find odd and unsettling in the beginning. Paradoxically, it’s challenging to get close and truly become friends with them.
Culturally: Americans are chill and like most citizens of first world nations, are generous with their actions and spendings. Vietnamese are deliberate and very careful with what they do, say or spend money on.
Climate: I have never once seen snow before I came to university, the average temperature in my city Hanoi during winter is about 18°C and summer is 30–35°C. Minnesota on the contrary has 6 months of winter, with a range from some where 0°C to -25°C
Monetary: Once again, significant differences in living standards and costs. Groceries and general living expenses are three to four times more expensive in America. Consequently, I have to adjust my spending drastically.
2. I am pushed to work hard
Like aforementioned, as tuition and costs of living are so expensive, my higher education is a big investment to my family. I don’t take this opportunity for granted and are constantly reminded to try my hardest to make the money worth it.
A lot of the time, international students want to work in the U.S. post-grad but the endeavor is increasingly difficult as the slots for working visas (H1-B) are limited (65,000 accepted from a pool of 190,000 applicants) and most of the fields are in STEM or Consulting. To sponsor an international student for H1-B, companies have to spend up to thousands of dollars and many of them aren’t willing to do so. Naturally, we are faced with more rejections from employers than our American counterparts.
While my American peers receive multiple internships offers with similar credentials, me and my international friends are greeted with a variety of “Nos” and “Thank you for your interests…” emails. In terms of immigration status, Americans have an upper hand but this “disadvantage” makes me realize I just have to put in more work and make most use of the limited time I have in the States.
3. I have a unique perspective to offer
As an international student coming from a third world country (I do acknowledge that I live in an urban area and have a very privileged background), I have lived in a world and cultivate ideas and perspectives that are dramatically different to those of my American peers as well as those from other countries.
While Americans have drama club, sports team and a plethora of extracurricular activities from a small age, Vietnamese schools didn’t offer that. While Americans are encouraged to share their opinion and even debate with the teacher, I was expected to sit quietly and do what I am told in the classroom. While Americans are extremely independent and part with their family at 18 years old, I still spend my parents’ money and live with them like in high school (when I’m on break)
Consider another instance, expectations of women’s roles in Viet Nam are still heavily patriarchy oriented. Men have the say in a family, women aren’t encouraged to study higher than a bachelor degree and are expected to get marry, bear and rear children.
Friendships in Viet Nam are developed differently too. If you are in school, you would mainly make friends from the classroom. The concept of making friends from networking events, parties and especially fraternities and sororities is unheard of. Vietnamese tend to know their friends quite well, preferring having smaller circle of friends than large group of acquaintances, which seem to be the norm in America.
Just a few of these experiences made me realize how much I could share and bring to the table. It doesn’t mean that one thing is better than the other but they are different, and everyone could always benefit from learning from one another.
4. I learn to do everything alone
I remember laughing at this meme where a person goes to a doctor with her mom and turns to her mom when the doctor asks what is wrong…
That was me up until college. It was here that I went to the doctor alone for the first time, created my debit AND credit card, registered for my Social Security Card, signed a lease, traveled solo, went to see a counselor for mental health, took care of myself when I am feeling ill. It’s the little things and sometimes the big things.
I’m not going to lie and say it’s not lonely but learning to tackle my life independently made me a more resourceful and active individual.
5. Lastly, I learn to not take home for granted
Distance truly makes the heart grow fonder. I have never thought I could miss and love home that much until I moved across the world. My first year in college, I counted down until Winter break two whole months before it actually happened.
From having my family “at my disposal” 7 days a week, 12 months a year, I could only be with them 3 months each year. A family person at heart, I would say this is the hardest part about studying abroad. It’s not the stressful study days, long winters or terrible fast food options (sorry America…), ultimately being far from my support system is the most challenging aspect.
This scarcity though does lead to appreciation. I remind myself to not forget cherishing each moment when I’m home for the holidays or summer months, whether it’s with friends or family.
